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6 Surprising Things That Make You Sexier, According to Science

What makes you more attractive to the opposite sex? Is it your hair, your eyes, or your legs? Our physical attributes are usually the first thing we think of, but they’re definitely not the only features that attract one person to another. Humor, weirdness, and courage also rate high on the sexy meter, and we have the science to prove it. So if you want to know what your potential partner is looking for, scroll down to see some of the surprisingly sexy qualities.

It’s Gorgeous When You’re Just Joking Around

If you were to rate your most attractive features, the physical attributes probably spring to mind first, right? But what if you were told being funny is more desirable to the opposite sex? It might not feel like you’re being “sexy” at the time, but humor is incredibly endearing, and there are the scientific studies to back it up too. One field study proved women find funny men attractive because it’s a sign of intelligence, according to research. There’s good news for all the non-funny men out there too, which brings us to our next tip…

It’s Alluring When You’re “Weird”

Are you someone who prefers to fit in, or do you like to be different and proud of your eccentricity? Well, according to an Australian study led by psychologist Matthew Hornsey from the University of Queensland, both men and women prefer “non-conformist romantic partners.” This research contradicts the “common belief that men prefer women who are submissive, modest, subdued, and agreeable.” So go ahead and march to the beat of your own drum, ’cause it’s damn sexy when you do.

You’re at Your Best When You’re Brooding

So we know women find funny men more attractive, but according to a University of British Columbia study, they find “happy guys significantly less sexually attractive than swaggering or brooding men.” Apparently female participants rated images of smiling, happy men the least attractive and preferred those who looked “proud and powerful, or moody and ashamed.” Well, this certainly helps explains the universal allure of the “bad boy” and why women are drawn to the swooning James Deans and Edward Cullens of the world. But before you go and update your Tinder profile, it’s important to remember that this study is based on “first-impressions of sexual attraction to images of the opposite sex,” says Alec Beall, a UBC psychology graduate student and study co-author. “We were not asking participants if they thought these targets would make a good boyfriend or wife—we wanted their gut reactions on carnal, sexual attraction.”

Being Courageous is Captivating

Being courageous is having “the ability to do something that frightens” you, and the willingness to confront uncertainty. This isn’t always easy, but this powerful emotion could make you sexier, too. Branding expert and USC professor Jeetendr Sehdev questioned 10,000 men and women from Asia to Australia on what makes someone sexy. The results, published in Glamour, found a whopping 75% of respondents think “courage matters more than confidence” because it “shows someone’s flaws in a positive light and makes them relatable.”

You’re Hotter When You Wear High Heels

We already know heels ramp up your fashion appeal, but science says they make you sexier, too. According to a study in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior and published in Time, high heels increase a woman’s attractiveness. In three separate experiments, Nicolas Guéguen from the department of social behavior at the University of Bretagne dressed French women in the same black suits with a straight skirt and white shirt. The only difference was their shoes. The study found men were more receptive to women, and willing to help them, in high heels as opposed to flats. When one woman dropped her glove in the experiment, “95% of men chased after the women when they wore high heels to return the glove, compared to 62% of those who did when she wore flat shoes.”

It's Attractive When You Know the Other Person Likes You

Have you ever thought about telling your crush how you feel? It’s probably one of the hardest things to do, but if the person don’t know you’re interested, how will you ever get together? Well, it might be time to summon up the courage. Dr. Aron told Nicholas Boothman wrote in How to Make Someone Fall in Love With You in 90 Minutes or Less, “The subjects’ expectation that the other person was going to like them had a huge effect. If you ask people about their experience of falling in love, over 90% will say that a major factor was discovering that the other person liked them.” So playing hard to get isn’t the way to play at all.

Sharing Your Secrets is Seductive

First dates are nerve-racking and, for the most part, fairly awkward for both parties. However, there is a way to make it a smoother experience and spark engaging conversation. According to Sam Gosling, author of Snoop, “Emotional, personal information exchange during first date conversation promotes powerful feelings of connection.” So share some of your secrets next time: You might just find yourself bonding beyond the dinner table.

7 Ways to Spend More Quality Time With Your Partner

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Follow these easy and affordable ideas to spend more kid-free time alone with your significant other.

When you’re a parent, the luxury of “couple time” tends to disappear in the delivery room. Post-kids, it can become hard to remember what it felt like to be “the two of you.”

“The transition from two to three is one of the most profound challenges a couple will ever face,” writes couples therapist Esther Perel in “Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic.” “For a while, there seems to be less for the couple: Less time, less communication, less sleep, less money, less privacy.”

We’ve already told you why it’s important to splurge on yourself, but spending quality alone time with your significant other matters equally as much—especially now that there’s more of you.

Getting enough couple time builds intimacy, opens communication and strengthens your bond, which in turn strengthens your marriage. Plus, it provides your kids with a good example for their own future relationships.

Of course, the obvious answer to spending more time together is to hire a babysitter and head out for date night. But even though that’s a great option, sitters and expensive dinners can bust any budget.

Here are some cheap and easy ways to build more couple time into your busy schedule:

Recreate Your First Date

Schedule a “first date” and pretend this is the first time you’re going out together…ever. Since finding time without kids is half the battle, make it a lunch date to guarantee the time alone. Schedule it in your calendar and treat it with the same gravitas as a real work appointment—in other words, make a reservation and be sure to dress to impress. On that day, there’s no emailing back and forth about work (or life) obligations. And, at lunch, stick to date-friendly topics, like the fascinating book you just read, or the hobby you’re dying to try. You just might learn something new about each other.

Have a Fancy Night In

If heading out to a fancy date just isn’t in the budget right now, bring the dinner-and-a-movie date to you. Resolve to feed, bathe and put the kids to bed early one Saturday, then get prepped for your fancy night in. Wear that Little Black Dress that’s been gathering dust in your closet. Make some gourmet popcorn ahead of time. Decide on the movie you’ll rent in advance (no getting dressed up just to flip through HBO channels!). Then, uncork your favorite bottle of wine and make the date night happen in your living room.

Break a Sweat Together (at the Gym)

Join a gym with babysitting services, like aMySportsClub, 24-Hour Fitness or Lifetime Fitness facility, which charge as little as $2 per child per hour for sitter services. Playing a sport together, like racquetball or tennis, is the more romantic option, but if that’s not possible, a good side-by-side run on the treadmill or track can still be a bonding experience. Plus, exercise has been proven to have a positive effect on your sex life.

Use Your Talents to Score Some Alone Time

You could do a babysitting swap with your friends, but that just means you’ll have to give up your Saturday at some point to watch your friends’ kids. Instead, try swapping your talents. For example, if photography’s your thing, offer to take a family portrait for your friend in exchange for a couple of hours of free babysitting, or help the new college graduate next door polish up her résumé in exchange for some of her coveted ‘sitting skills.

Play Hooky on Your Chores

The next time you’re tempted to use the hour your kid is at swim practice to cross off some chores, blow off the K-Mart and have a secret rendezvous instead. Make where you’ll meet a secret (at least the first time—after that, it can be a tradition), and, leading up to the big day, leave cute Post-It notes around the house dropping hints about your illicit get-together.

Steal Away on a Vacation (with Built-In Day Care)

When planning your next getaway, consider a place that offers kids’ clubs or babysitters so that you can grab a little alone time, in addition to having fun as a family. For tropical options, look for places with supervised children’s programs and free activities that both parents and young kids can enjoy. If winter’s more your thing, many family-friendly ski resorts offer ski school for the kids and child care services for the little ones not yet old enough for the slopes.

Make It Count

You will obviously need to hire a babysitter at some point, so, when you do, make it payoff. In other words, go big and plan in advance: Buy those concert tickets, or stop by that gallery opening on the way to a nice dinner out, just like you used to. Aim to plan a “real date” once a month, if possible, and build up the excitement by deciding on your activity well ahead of time. The more you increase the suspense, the more momentous your night out will feel while you’re actually enjoying it.

Oral Sex Moves to Blow Like a Pro

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Men love it when women go down on them. A night in the sack with their woman giving them the time of their lives is all they crave for. Truth be told, oral sex is not something you master overnight. It is an art you need to perfect with time. Well, if you want to give him a night to remember then follow these tips to master oral sex and give him exactly what he wants.

Slow dance: Start slow. Let him enjoy the slow feel of your mouth on his manhood. Be very gentle and start by kissing and using your tongue, and then go full throttle.

Don’t use your teeth: A little nibbling is fine but using your teeth is a complete no-no.  It is a very tender spot so you need to be very gentle. Make sure your teeth are far, far away!

Tongue-ing: It’s not always about the lips; you need to add another member for maximum pleasure, that’s your tongue. The head and the bottom of a man’s member are the most sensitive spots. Why not hit them with your tongue and see him go crazy?’

Deep throat: We don’t, but men love it when they are deep inside. To start with deep throating, you need to relax your throat and yourself to prevent a bad case of gag reflex. So take a deep breath, relax your throat and your jaw.  Stick your tongue out and you are ready for the deep end

Gag reflex: Gag reflex during oral sex is but obvious, but what if we tell you there is a way you can completely get rid of it? There are many positions which make sure that the gag reflex is minimised by a big margin. For instance, one of the positions that result is minimum gag reflex is lying on your back on the bed with your man on top of you. So try that out the next time you give him head.

Eye contact: It might be difficult, but try and make eye contact with him as you go down on him. He will love it, and it’s bound to arouse him too. Maintain eye contact without even blinking and it will help increase intimacy and passion in your relationship.

Keep it wet: Lubrication is a very important thing. When down on him, you need to make sure that his member as well as your mouth are well lubricated. Sometimes saliva just doesn’t cut it, so make sure you have water around you, otherwise flavoured lube is always a good option.

Experiment: Everything can’t be taught. You need to experiment to know what your guy likes and what isn’t his favourite dish on the menu. See what turns him on and quickens his pulse, and do that over and over!

Donut: A famous trick known as the donut is eating a whole donut from around your man’s member. Now it’s better to talk it out before you try it out, but it sure sounds like a winner.

Communicate: You need to communicate with your man before going down on him and make it clear to him if you are not comfortable with him climaxing in your mouth. He can get his happy ending but it doesn’t have to be anywhere close to your face, right?

Pamela Anderson puts on a very busty display in flirty blue dress as she hits Vienna’s shops with a glass of wine in hand

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Her body is what shot her to fame first as a Playboy model and then as CJ Parker on Baywatch.

And Pamela Anderson, 47, is still keen on making the most of those curves, as she stepped out in a revealing blue number on Thursday.

The low-cut dress flaunted the star’s chest as she hit the designer boutiques in Vienna, Austria, livening up her shopping trip with a glass of wine. 

Pamela’s baby blue satin number featured a corset style bodice which nipped her in at the waist and showcased her chest.

Pamela added a pair of super high black platform shoes and a cat-print clutch bag and left her blonde locks loose and curly as she enjoyed the city sights.

Are You in a Codependent Relationship?

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Do find yourself making lots of sacrifices for your partner’s happiness, but not getting much in return? If that kind of one-sided pattern sounds like yours, you don’t have to feel trapped. There are lots of ways to change a codependent relationship and get your life back on an even keel.

What Is a Codependent Relationship?

The first step in getting things back on track is to understand the meaning of a codependent relationship. Experts say it’s a pattern of behavior in which you find yourself dependent on approval from someone else for your self-worth and identity.

One key sign is when your sense of purpose in life wraps around making extreme sacrifices to satisfy your partner’s needs.

“Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn’t have self-sufficiency or autonomy,” says Scott Wetzler, PhD, psychology division chief at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. “One or both parties depend on their loved ones for fulfillment.”

Anyone can become codependent. Some research suggests that people who have parents who emotionally abused or neglected them in thirteens are more likely to enter codependent relationships.

“These kids are often taught to subvert their own needs to please a difficult parent, and it sets them up for a long-standing pattern of trying to get love and care from a difficult person,” says Shawn Burn, PhD, a psychology professor at California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo.

“They’re often replaying a childhood pattern filled with development gaps,” Wetzler says.

How to Know You’re in a Codependent Relationship

Watch out for these signs that you might be in a codependent relationship:

  • Are you unable to find satisfaction in your life outside of a specific person?
  • Do you recognize unhealthy behaviors in your partner but stay with him or her in spite of them?
  • Are you giving support to your partner at the cost of your own mental, emotional, and physical health?

“Individuals can also assume they are in a codependent relationship if people around them have given them feedback that they are too dependent on their partner or if they have a desire, at times, for more independence but feel an even stronger conflict when they attempt to separate in any way,” says psychologist Seth Meyers.

“They’ll feel anxiety more consistently than any other emotion in the relationship,” Meyers says, “and they’ll spend a great deal of time and energy either trying to change their partner or … trying to conform to their partner’s wishes.”

Impact of a Codependent Relationship

Giving up your own needs and identity to meet the needs of a partner has unhealthy short-term and long-term consequences.

“You can become burned out, exhausted, and begin to neglect other important relationships,” Burn says. “And if you’re the enabler in a codependent relationship — meaning you promote the other person’s dysfunctions — you can prevent them from learning common and needed life lessons.”

How to Change a Codependent Relationship

Breaking up isn’t necessarily the best or only solution. To repair a codependent relationship, it’s important to set boundaries and find happiness as an individual, says psychologist Misty Hook, PhD.

She recommends that partners talk about and set relationship goals that satisfy them both.

“It’s also important to spend time with relatives, friends, and family to broaden the circle of support,” she says. “Find hobbies of your own. Try separating for certain periods of time to create a healthy dependence on one another.”

But do keep in mind that your actions may unintentionally worsen a codependent relationship, Wetzler says.

“Sometimes people delude themselves into thinking they are helping a codependent partner by continuing to cater to his or her anxiety,” he says. “But ask if you are truly helping or simply fostering that negativity.”

Lil Wayne — My Daughter Got TWO CARS … For Her 16th Birthday

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Lil Wayne’s 16-year-old daughter can put a bumper sticker on her new BMW that reads, “My other car is a Ferrari!”

It’s insane … Reginae Carter celebrated her Sweet 16 in Atlanta with a baller party featuring a mini-concert by Nicki Minaj, as Kandi Burruss, Tiny Harris and Fantasia Barrino looked on.

And get this … Reginae scored a Ferrari GTO … AND a BMW.

Unclear if each of her parents bought her a car — Toya Wright was also there with husband Memphitz.

There will be some serious shaming Monday in the school parking lot.

How to Be a Stylish Girl

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Trying to up the game on your style? Being stylish doesn’t have to be an intimidating task. Take the time to go through your wardrobe and decide what pieces make you look more stylish.

1. Go through your clothes. Lay out every single thing you have and see if it fits into the guidelines:
Is it modest?
Will it go with more than 5 other items of clothing?
Can it be reused or made new?
Is it bulky? If so, donate.
If it is fur, leather, or anything else made from animals decide weather or not you like it, if you do then keep it but otherwise give it to a friend or donate it.

2. Donate everything you do not need. It will go to someone who needs it, even if it is not stylish enough for you.

3. Focus on the best items in your wardrobe.
Make sure you have these: tees, blue jeans, light and dark wash, vests, sweaters, coats, dresses, skirts, flats, blouses, and anything else you like.
Make sure to mix and match.
Create a look that’s all your own, and roll with it.

4. Define your means of stylish. If you think it looks good, wear it.

7 Unusual Uses for Coffee That Will Change Your Life

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Coffee is often the only thing that gets us through the day. Those morning and mid-day cups are just what we need to make it to the finish line and get the kids to bed. But did you know that there’s more to this magical bean than meets the sleepy eye? You’re probably already paying a pretty penny for that cup of awesomeness, so you might as well make it count and put those grounds to use. Perk up for these 7 unusual uses for coffee that will change your life.

1. Repel fleas

Overheard at the dog park: “Rub damp, used coffee grounds through your dog’s fur after shampooing, then rinse to repel fleas.” Also overheard at the dog park: “My dog is gluten-free, vegan and enjoys yoga.” But seriously, fleas suck—give this tip a try.

2. Highlight and soften your hair

Blondes can use coffee to create warm tones to their locks, while brunettes and redheads can use it to enhance reflections on naturally dark hair. Just steep the coffee grounds in two cups of hot water and rinse hair thoroughly with the mixture. You can probably send pictures to Yuban or Folgers and get coupons for some free samples.

3. Plant fertilizer

Have you noticed your plants are tired and lifeless? Have you tried talking to them and they seem disinterested? Try mixing your coffee grounds into their soil. It promotes growth and provides nourishment. Give it a try and you’ll find that your relationship is back on solid “grounds.”

4. Cat banisher

Not a cat person? Turns out they hate coffee. Who knew? Sprinkle coffee grounds around the soil of your house and they’ll steer clear. However, they might conspire against you once you leave your property.

5. Remove funky fridge odors

Have you ever been so sleep-deprived that you failed to notice the unidentifiable rotting thing taking up residence in the back of your fridge? Yeah, me neither. But if your neighbor has this problem, let her know that when she’s done tossing it out and removing her hazmat gloves, she should place a bowl of fresh, unused coffee grounds inside and leave it there for 24-48 hours. The coffee grounds will absorb the odors and she can pretend the whole thing never happened.

6. Restore furniture

Create a mixture of coffee grounds and a bit of water. The pasty combination is ideal for buffing out furniture scratches and works as a staining agent, too! Your wood furniture will be revitalized in no time. Just be sure to test a small patch first, so you don’t accidentally ruin your great grandmother’s armoire.

7. Organize your makeup brushes

Fill a jar with whole beans and then stick your brush handles in there. It not only looks good, but it’s the perfect way to find the brushes you need and keep them separated to prevent cross contamination. Tip: Don’t forget to wash your brushes regularly. Keeping them standing up straight is ideal for drying.

“You Should Date an Illiterate Girl”, by Charles Warnke

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Date a girl who doesn’t read. Find her in the weary squalor of a Midwestern bar. Find her in the smoke, drunken sweat, and varicolored light of an upscale nightclub. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure that it lingers when the people that are talking to her look away. Engage her with unsentimental trivialities. Use pick-up lines and laugh inwardly.

Take her outside when the night overstays its welcome. Ignore the palpable weight of fatigue. Kiss her in the rain under the weak glow of a streetlamp because you’ve seen it in film. Remark at its lack of significance. Take her to your apartment. Dispatch with making love. Fuck her.

Let the anxious contract you’ve unwittingly written evolve slowly and uncomfortably into a relationship. Find shared interests and common ground like sushi, and folk music. Build an impenetrable bastion upon that ground. Make it sacred. Retreat into it every time the air gets stale, or the evenings get long. Talk about nothing of significance. Do little thinking. Let the months pass unnoticed. Ask her to move in. Let her decorate. Get into fights about inconsequential things like how the fucking shower curtain needs to be closed so that it doesn’t fucking collect mold. Let a year pass unnoticed. Begin to notice.

Figure that you should probably get married because you will have wasted a lot of time otherwise. Take her to dinner on the forty-fifth floor at a restaurant far beyond your means. Make sure there is a beautiful view of the city. Sheepishly ask a waiter to bring her a glass of champagne with a modest ring in it. When she notices, propose to her with all of the enthusiasm and sincerity you can muster. Do not be overly concerned if you feel your heart leap through a pane of sheet glass. For that matter, do not be overly concerned if you cannot feel it at all. If there is applause, let it stagnate. If she cries, smile as if you’ve never been happier. If she doesn’t, smile all the same.

Let the years pass unnoticed. Get a career, not a job. Buy a house. Have two striking children. Try to raise them well. Fail, frequently. Lapse into a bored indifference. Lapse into an indifferent sadness. Have a mid-life crisis. Grow old. Wonder at your lack of achievement. Feel sometimes contented, but mostly vacant and ethereal. Feel, during walks, as if you might never return, or as if you might blow away on the wind. Contract a terminal illness. Die, but only after you observe that the girl who didn’t read never made your heart oscillate with any significant passion, that no one will write the story of your lives, and that she will die, too, with only a mild and tempered regret that nothing ever came of her capacity to love.

Do those things, because nothing sucks worse than a girl who reads. Do it, I say, because a life in purgatory is better than a life in hell. Do it, because a girl who reads possesses a vocabulary that can describe that amorphous discontent as a life unfulfilled—a vocabulary that parses the innate beauty of the world and makes it an accessible necessity instead of an alien wonder. A girl who reads lays claim to a vocabulary that distinguishes between the specious and soulless rhetoric of someone who cannot love her, and the inarticulate desperation of someone who loves her too much. A vocabulary, god damnit, that makes my vacuous sophistry a cheap trick.

Do it, because a girl who reads understands syntax. Literature has taught her that moments of tenderness come in sporadic but knowable intervals. A girl who reads knows that life is not planar; she knows, and rightly demands, that the ebb comes along with the flow of disappointment. A girl who has read up on her syntax senses the irregular pauses—the hesitation of breath—endemic to a lie. A girl who reads perceives the difference between a parenthetical moment of anger and the entrenched habits of someone whose bitter cynicism will run on, run on well past any point of reason, or purpose, run on far after she has packed a suitcase and said a reluctant goodbye and she has decided that I am an ellipsis and not a period and run on and run on. Syntax that knows the rhythm and cadence of a life well lived.

Date a girl who doesn’t read because the girl who reads knows the importance of plot. She can trace out the demarcations of a prologue and the sharp ridges of a climax. She feels them in her skin. The girl who reads will be patient with an intermission and expedite a denouement. But of all things, the girl who reads knows most the ineluctable significance of an end. She is comfortable with them. She has bid farewell to a thousand heroes with only a twinge of sadness.

Don’t date a girl who reads because girls who read are the storytellers. You with the Joyce, you with the Nabokov, you with the Woolf. You there in the library, on the platform of the metro, you in the corner of the café, you in the window of your room. You, who make my life so god damned difficult. The girl who reads has spun out the account of her life and it is bursting with meaning. She insists that her narratives are rich, her supporting cast colorful, and her typeface bold. You, the girl who reads, make me want to be everything that I am not. But I am weak and I will fail you, because you have dreamed, properly, of someone who is better than I am. You will not accept the life that I told of at the beginning of this piece. You will accept nothing less than passion, and perfection, and a life worthy of being storied. So out with you, girl who reads. Take the next southbound train and take your Hemingway with you. I hate you. I really, really, really hate you.

What the “perfect” man looks like, according to men and women

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So, according to almost every movie ever, we’re supposed to be most attracted to beefy men with glistening muscles, smoky (and kinda dangerous) eyes that make us feel like they suspect our very darkest, deepest secrets, and thighs that look like they’ve been subjected to Olympic training. Examples of these “idealized” men include (but are totally not limited to, obvs) Brad Pitt, Chris Hemsworth, Will Smith, and Jason Mamoa. In the end, it turns out the ideal dude isn’t Brad, Chris, Will, OR Jason. It’s the “Boy Next Door.”

According to a study organized by Jacamo, a British clothing company for men, “72 percent of women in the UK actually prefer men with the ‘boy next door’ look as opposed to luscious hulks.”

In the study, most men (62 percent!) hypothesized that women would prefer Justin Bieber’s hair, Gerard Butler’s face, Hugh Jackman’s arms, David Gandy’s torso, and Cristiano Ronaldo’s legs. The perfect man (according to men) is the image on the left, whereas women’s real dream guy (according to women) is the fellow on the right. The study discovered that most heterosexual ladies prefer Prince Harry’s hair, James Corden’s face, Paddy McGuinness’ arms, Ben Cohen’s torso, and Jonathan Ross’ legs.