While sexting—sending suggestive texts and in some instances, images—is often something that people think destroys relationships, it can actually strengthen them. Of course, if your intent is to send sexual thoughts to someone other than your significant other, then you’re naturally setting yourself up for relationship problems. But when sexting occurs between you and your special loved one and doesn’t entail any of that life-ruining, cheating drama, it can do wonders for your romantic life. Here’s why.
Sexting boosts confidence
Think you could never bring yourself to send a suggestive text to your spouse? Give it a try. The thrill of sending the text will boost your confidence, especially if it’s not something you’d ever imagine yourself doing. Say what you feel. You’ll not only be surprised at how the words flow, but at how you’ll feel more self-assured in the bedroom. Hey, if you sent that kind of text, who knows what the night will bring?
It need not be the stuff romance novels are made of, or filled with X-rated words; a simple, “I can’t wait until you get home (with a wink emoticon),” or “I keep thinking of how good you looked when you got out of the shower last night,” will get the wheels of intimate thoughts going.
Sexting can improve your sex life
All of that sexually-charged messaging can boost your sex life, and there’s science to back it up.
A study led by researchers from Drexel University found that those who were involved in sexting reported having more satisfied sex lives and a more satisfied relationship in general. This research involved both committed couples as well as more casual encounters. It’s thought that expressing yourself so openly boosts libido and builds excitement so that sexual activity is ultimately more pleasing when it takes place.
Sexting can open the lines of romantic communication
Sexting can reduce the face-to-face awkwardness that sometimes comes with telling your partner you’d like to try a new position or be touched more in one particular spot. Suggestive texts about being massaged a certain way or ones that involve an image of you in more revealing clothing than normal can open the lines of communication; what’s otherwise left unsaid in the “real” world can be conveyed via text and handled accordingly.
Sexts can allow shy or more conservative couples to “talk” about things they’d typically not discuss, say, over dinner or during foreplay.
Sexting keeps the romance alive
Receiving a sext in areas not otherwise associated with feelings of desire can help keep the romance alive. There you are, sweating from a good gym workout, when you get a sext. Perhaps your spouse sends you a sext just as you leave the office. In essence, you’re maintaining a connection when you’d otherwise not be physically able to do so in certain situations. The thrill of getting or sending sexts just as you leave the grocery store or just prior to a conference call allows for more ongoing interaction. With today’s longer working hours and busier schedules, sexts can help keep the romance alive.
Sexting benefits mature adults too
While you might have images that only young 20-somethings are sexting away like there’s no tomorrow, the truth is, people of all ages are doing it—including those in their 50s and 60s. Relationship experts suggest that it’s a myth that aging and a diminished sexual desire go hand in hand. Instead, relationship coach Suzanne Blake explains, “Boomers want sexual activity. They want to flirt. It makes them feel lively and young.” To that end, she says that she’s observed a rise in older couples who are sexting, including people who “show” their spouse what they’re missing while on a business trip, for example.
For couples of all ages, sexting is a fun and harmless way to spice up your sex life and increase the potential for more fulfilling romantic encounters. Just be sure to double check that your saucy talk isn’t being sent to Mom or your boss; watch that phone contact list carefully, and keep track of toggling between that last conversation with your neighbor and the “what are you wearing” ones with your spouse.
So, what are you waiting for? Try sexting, or sexting more often, and you’ll be sure to experience increased confidence, better communication and improved levels of satisfaction.